There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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