This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
