yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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