This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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