Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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