do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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