dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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