I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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