Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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