I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
