I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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