You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
