U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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