I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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