dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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