Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
