i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
