I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
