Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
