She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
