I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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