he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize