Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
