Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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