And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
