he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
