Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
