you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
