Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
