It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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