The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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