Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
