Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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