I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize