Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So vagazzling was a success
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
