There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
