They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
