no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
