why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
