I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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