dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
