Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
