I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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