I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
