I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
