we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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