You really coming over, don't trick.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
