are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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