how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
