I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
