i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
