I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
