I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it's like iHOP with fire
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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