Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize