umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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