Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
