I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
