Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
