i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
