I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
